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Mar 1

A DIFFERENT WORLD: How to lose weight like a Martian

Show of hands who wants to lose weight?

Now, who wants to lose weight in Hawaii? OK, who wants to lose weight in Hawaii and get paid to do it?

Sounds too good to be true, right? As is usually the case, there is a slight (but important) catch.

You have to pretend to be a Martian for four months.

Now that I've likely confused the heck out of you, here's the deal. Researchers at Cornell University and the University of Hawaii are looking for participants to spend 120 days in a pretend Martian environment they have created on the Big Island of Hawaii.

Before you get thoughts of beautiful sunshine, sandy beaches and totally righteous waves in your head, think again, dude. The environment will be set up to simulate the rocky, volcanic terrain of Mars, and participants will be in space suits when they venture out of their mock space station. Ever try to surf in a space suit?

Researchers will conduct a food study with the participants to see the effects of eating astronaut food during a prolonged period.

Astronauts on the International Space Station don't have a grocery store around the corner (though I hear Walgreens is opening a store there soon), and most pizza places I'm aware of won't deliver to a location 240 miles above the earth's surface. Also, a gas range isn't going to happen in space (something about explosions), so the astronauts' food choices are somewhat restricted. I certainly understand how four or five days of dehydrated tuna fish sandwiches and orange Tang would make a person mental.

As a result of eating dehydrated shoe leather over and over again, many astronauts quickly get "menu fatigue" and typically lose weight during long missions in space. The problem is that astronauts need to keep their nutrient intake up so that they stay healthy. Researchers are testing different types of foods in hopes of finding foods that taste and smell appetizing so that astronauts clean their plates and eat their veggies and stay strong and healthy.

Researchers will monitor participants' moods to see if a restricted diet for a long period of time causes irritability. I can state unequivocally that eating the same thing over and over again causes crankiness. A few years back, a winter storm kept my family inside for a few days and we nearly killed each other with a diet consisting only of canned yams, oyster crackers and Vienna sausages.

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A DIFFERENT WORLD: How to lose weight like a Martian

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