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Mar 13

Live Life Fully: Dealing with pain and pleasure cycles – Charleston Gazette-Mail (subscription)

Long Term Weight Loss Comments Off on Live Life Fully: Dealing with pain and pleasure cycles – Charleston Gazette-Mail (subscription)

Have you heard of the pain/pleasure principle?

Research shows it lies at the core of everything you do. The decisions you make and the actions you take are all based on this principle, whether youre consciously aware of it or not.

Its human nature to gravitate toward pleasure and away from pain. Well, duh.

There are layers of complexity to this, though. Before every decision you unconsciously ask yourself:

n What does this mean?

n Will it lead to pain or pleasure?

n What should I do about it?

Over the years youve had a variety of experiences. Some have been painful and led to the emotions of anger, hurt, stress, anxiety, overwhelm and depression. Other experiences induce pleasurable emotions of joy, enthusiasm, curiosity, excitement and love. These experiences represent your filter.

Researchers at the IQ Matrix organization (www.iqmatrix.com) work with consumers to do mind mapping and provide resources for working through obstacles to achieve goals. According to Adam Sicinski, author of How to Use the Pain and Pleasure Principle to Achieve a Goal, all your decisions lead to one or more of the following:

n short-term pain

n short-term pleasure

n long-term pain

n long-term pleasure.

Lets say you have a weight-loss goal. Reaching this goal will bring you long-term pleasure because you will feel better, look better and have more energy. However, getting to this point wont be easy, and youll need to go through a lot of short-term pain.

So you have the tug of the long-term goal of weight loss versus the temptation of the short-term pull of chocolate and potato chips. While the long-term goal is a pleasurable one, its a painful experience in the short term. Thats why the chips and chocolate often win at least temporarily.

Now hear this. The trick is to associate pain with not doing what you need to do and pleasure with doing what you need to do. So, lifting those weights or walking those miles actually begins to feel pleasurable over time rather than just representing a means to an end.

Procrastination is when you associate pain with doing something. You likely associate more pleasure with watching TV or surfing social media than cleaning out the closet or organizing the garage. The only problem with this is you dont make progress toward your goals, and then you end up with pain.

So you need to begin to associate pain with sitting around watching TV and pleasure with the action steps associated with your goal. While this is easier said than done, it can open a whole new way of looking at your world.

On the flip side, theres a good chance youll fall into the instant gratification trap. This is where short-term pleasure has more influence on your decision-making process than long-term pleasure or short-term pain.

Thats why its so important to keep images of your long-term goals all around you pictures, vision boards, etc. Your brain thinks in pictures.

Set up your support system before you launch headlong into lofty goals:

n Put some short-term pleasure in the mix.

n Give yourself little rewards along the way.

n Plan for setbacks, and then get back on that diving board.

It all comes down to how much pain and pleasure you associate with achieving your goals, and not beating yourself up repeatedly.

Your behaviors didnt fall into place overnight, and they cant be flipped like a light switch. Preparing for change is a critical part of the process, according to Sicinski. Take some time to ask yourself:

n What limiting habits are holding me back?

n What emotions or beliefs are tied to these behaviors?

n What patterns pop up?

n When did this behavior originate in my life?

n Why am I letting it continue?

n What is this costing me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or financially?

n What am I missing by continuing this behavior?

n How has this behavior sabotaged me over and over?

n How has this affected my relationships and my state of mind?

n What are five challenges I face with pulling this off?

n What beliefs and habits do I need to let go?

n What resources do I need?

n What and who are my support systems?

n How can I make this a priority?

n What regrets will I have during the next five years if I continue down this path?

After digging deep, try a new thought process:

My new behavior is:

n How do I feel physically, mentally and emotionally?

n How do I think about myself?

n How do I act around others?

n How has this change positively affected other areas of my life?

Over time you can begin to anchor in new approaches to your challenges. These checklists can be used time and time again to set your compass.

It all depends on where you want to go in your life and what youre willing to do to get there.

2016, Linda Arnold Living Well, all rights reserved. Linda Arnold, M.A., M.B.A., is a syndicated columnist, psychological counselor, certified wellness instructor and keynote speaker. Shes also the founder of a multistate marketing company. Reader comments are welcome at linda@lindaarnold.org.

Excerpt from:
Live Life Fully: Dealing with pain and pleasure cycles - Charleston Gazette-Mail (subscription)

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