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Apr 4

How to lose weight without making everyone hate you – Metro

Lose Weight Comments Off on How to lose weight without making everyone hate you – Metro

Soething exciting to tell the gals about later. (Picture: Getty)

When you lose a significant quantity of weight you expect to throw away some old clothes.

Getting rid of some old friends might come as more of a surprise.

Yet losing friends is a well-documented side-effect of losing a lot of weight. A study by the Detroit Free Press reported that losing weight can be enormously alienating to friends and partners of the newly skinny person.

Why? Because its not just the outside of yourself that youre changing.

Losing weight means changing your routine. It means letting go of certain eating habits, becoming more active and altogether making adjustments to the way that you live your life.

If your friendships are centred around certain rhythms and routines, disrupting them can be difficult for other people. After all, youve decided to lose weight, but they might not have done. You cant expect people who love you to automatically want to climb into the lycra because you are.

Ive lost track of the number of times Ive had newly slim friends turn their noses up at dinner parties, or refuse to come to the pub, because of their fitness kick.

Its great for them, really great. But it feels like a big slap in the face to act like its the right way to be. And it can come across as disrespectful to all the fun times you previously shared together.

The other major issue is one of expectation. Just because youve decided your body should change, doesnt mean that you should make anyone else feel that they should too.

Im just as guilty of it as anyone else. A few weeks in, Ive dropped half a stone and I think Im Deliciously Ellas healthier, bouncier twin.

But that kind of obsessive positivity about nutrition and food is not endearing. Nothing is more irritating than an endorphin high friend compelling you to come running with them, or offering cooking tips. Its rude. The day after I got engaged a (now ex) friend who had lost a couple of stone sidled up to me and said, This is going to be so fun, youre finally going to let me teach you how to lose weight!

Sadly, this kind of thing isnt uncommon. Whether youre a size 10 or a size 30, a friend whos found a successful diet is a potential for evangelical preaching. Whether its dominating a night out by talking about syns and Slimming World meetings or trying to get your friends to go to a HIIT class instead of the pub, we get it. Youve discovered something that makes you really happy. But that doesnt mean anyone else wants to join in. And however well-intentioned it is, asking someone if theyd like to come to Weight Watchers with you is always rude.

What you eat is not fundamentally interesting to anyone other than yourself. Try hard to remember that. Its astonishing how few people do. Yes, it might be exciting to be able to make pancakes with oats and banana, but its not fair to spend hours going on about it. Ive occasionally caught myself yapping about my favourite bootcamp class and realised that I am in dire danger of becoming the kind of person that I hate.

Engaged people who talk only about their wedding, pregnant people whose only topic of conversation is their foetus: its all part of the same problem. Having a focus can make it difficult to remember that theres a big wide world around you.

The difference between boring wedding or baby obsessed friends is that at least those are arguably less emotionally loaded areas than weight.

One of the worst habits that Ive observed in friends whove lost more significant amounts of weight is the way that they talk about their old bodies with complete vitriol.

Talking about how huge you were before or describing yourself as fat, when you wouldnt have done so before, can end up being pretty hurtful especially if your friends are now bigger than you. It might not be intended and an insult but thats certainly how it might land.

After a significant weight loss, Ive known women to consider themselves to be different people. Thats their prerogative, but that doesnt mean that its time to start slagging off the old version.

Your friends liked that version. Your friends shared pizzas and nights out and long tipsy conversations with that person. And of course, theyll learn to love the new you, whos more into wheatgrass shots than tequila ones. But theyre not going to get a chance to adjust to your new lifestyle if you bombard them with it, and especially not if, in doing so, you make them feel judged.

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Youre not expected to hide your lifestyle change, or keep your mouth shut. But if you dont want your diet to affect your friendships? Try to keep your nutrition chat to about the same level youre willing to tolerate from other people on babies, weddings or how much they hate their boss.

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How to lose weight without making everyone hate you - Metro

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