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Aug 28

The Psychological Reason You Don’t Feel Like You’re Losing Weight – GQ Magazine

How to set realistic fitness expectations.

Heres a familiar scene: You find a weight-loss program that promises to zap your love handles in eight weeks. So you go through the grueling effortusually restrictive, impossible-to-sustain methods that involve lots of proteinand, after the eight weeks, you feel disappointed that you dont look like Chris Evans from Captain America yet.

Proper management of these kind of expectations, and what you have control over, is important for you to stick to weight loss methods that work in the long term. (I.e. how you get actual results.) Unrealistic expectations of your abilities, left unchecked, can otherwise do a lot of harm in a couple of ways.

We are so used to seeing and reading about truncated timelines for looking a certain way that our expectations of whats realistic can feel like science fiction. Think about all the things that color your weight-loss experience, from "before" and "after" photos in ads to surreal TV shows like The Biggest Loser. If you expected to lose five pounds in three months, losing four seems okay. If you expected to lose 20 pounds instead, a mere four pounds seems like horseshit.

While weight loss can happen quickly, it really shouldnt. Steady weight loss happens at a rate of half a pound to a pound per week. Even then, that depends on your genetics and starting weight: the more overweight you are, the "faster" you might lose a few pounds initially; and the closer you are to your ideal weight, the slower the process becomes.

We also tend to be, as Tali Sharot explained in her TED talk, awfully optimistic about achieving undiluted awesomeness in whatever we choose to doand that includes losing weight. We're predisposed for extremes. Beer and chicken wings? No, thanks, just boiled chicken breast and steamed vegetables please. Hit the gym six days per week? Sure! For a few weeks, at least. This optimism gets you into trouble when you slip up and decide that beer and chicken wings with your coworkers on Tuesday sounded like a great idea, after all. And afterward, man, does the guilt of "failing your diet" feel soul-crushing.

A paper in the International Journal of Obesity termed this "false hope syndrome" to describe your disappointment when your reality doesnt live up to your expectations. The author explains that it leads you to ignore your successes, but worse yet, you hyperfocus on your setbacks, blaming yourself and lack of willpower, and then feel guilty and hopeless about ever changing your ways. I remember when I lost 13 pounds over eight months, and even though Id lost weight, I felt like Id actually failed that I didnt look the way I expected. I ignored all my other successes and hard work, and it hurt my motivation and outlook for future attempts.

But how can you tell you have unrealistic fitness expectations?

If you feel like you have to temporarily turn your whole life upside down to lose or keep weight off, youve likely mis-calibrated realistic expectations with what you could possibly do with the time, energy, and resources you have.

According to Dr. Arya Sharma, MD, professor and chair in obesity research and management at the University of Alberta, a reasonable amount of weight loss that people can actually keep off with a reasonable amount of effort is around 5 percent of their total weight. Its nothing sexy, but if after five years and youre still down 5 percent, youve actually done better than the average, says Dr. Sharma.

The harder part of the whole process, he argues, is in maintaining, rather than losing weight. Thats because the things that you must do to lose weight are difficult to maintain in the long term. Whatever youve chosen to do to lose weight must be kept consistent, or eventually done with more rigor, to keep it off. So if you do things that you dont enjoy or are so extreme that you cant possibly keep them up for long without having a mental breakdown, thats a recipe for weight regain and the perpetuation of the same bad cycle.

Where expectations often dont add up is the common notion of I just need to lose the weight and Ill be fine, according to Dr. Sharma. Your desire for self-improvement is commendable, but be careful where you look for it. More importantly, dont start from a place of body envy because, as Dr. Sharma points out, theres always going to be a couple more pounds to lose. Instead, start from one of aspiring toward greater health, where you feel good and have high energy to lead a more fulfilling life. Direct your efforts inward to improve yourself, bit by bit, instead of trying to reach for something youre not or cannot become. Remember, screwing up is part of the process.

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The Psychological Reason You Don't Feel Like You're Losing Weight - GQ Magazine

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