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Bianca Belair Comments on Her Struggles With Bulimia and Depression in High School – eWrestlingNews
During the latest edition of Lilian Garcias Chasing Glory podcast, Biana Belair commented on her struggle with bulimia and depression back in high school, and more. You can check out some highlights from the interview below:
On how her struggle with bulimia began: So in high school I was probably around 155, and I wanted to run fast, I wanted to get a scholarship, so it was drilled in me that if you lose weight, youll run faster. So I went on a diet, I did lose weight, but I got to a plateau and I couldnt lose anymore weight, so I started throwing my food up, so I became bulimic. I became bulimic. And I lost weight and I actually ran faster which is crazy but I ended up getting hurt because I didnt have the right nutrients and I wasnt keeping the vitamins down, the nutrients, Im getting hurt, but I already got my scholarship to South Carolina. So I went to South Carolina my freshman year and I decided I dont want to do this anymore, Im not going to do this anymore. Im starting over, Im starting fresh. I got what I wanted. The goal was to get a scholarship and I got it, so lets start fresh, lets not do this anymore.
On continuing to struggle with bulimia in college: In my mind I was telling myself Im not going to do this anymore, Im here, Im going to try to start new, and I ended up having this obsession with food where I was now binge eating at night, I wasnt eating in front of people but I would go and binge eat at night and I was gaining all this weight, and then I had the coaches tell me, What happened to the Bianca from high school, we need the same Bianca from high school. So instead of seeking help and figuring out the healthy way to get back there, I went back to throwing my food up again. So now, Im binge eating and throwing it up, binge eating and throwing it up. And of course, Im not going to perform well doing that. Mentally I wasnt there. I got depressed and I ended up being prescribed medication and things just didnt work out there. But at that time, I felt like I was young, my first time being on my own, and I was blaming everyone else. Its the coachs fault, its the programs fault, Im not running fast because of this, but really I wasnt running fast because of the things I was doing to myself.
On becoming depressed after transferring to another college: I transferred to Texas A&M and tried to do the same thing where Im gonna start new, again, this time I stopped throwing my food up for the most part but then I stopped my medication cold turkey which youre not supposed to do. Youre supposed to wean off of it. And I was taking it and my parents didnt know, my friends didnt know, I was just taking it and not telling anyone because I was embarrassed about it, I didnt understand depression. Things were going OK at A&M until all of a sudden I just felt like I just was losing grip on everything and I couldnt catch up and I didnt know why and I started getting emotional and I started isolating myself and I was having these emotions that I didnt understand, and I started trying to tell my parents and tell my friends but they didnt understand because they didnt know I was on medication and quit cold turkey and I didnt understand what was happening to me. So it got to a point where I couldnt even explain it, I was just out of it. And what happened was, from what they explained to me, you cant stop your medication cold turkey because then you go into relapse, even worse than you were before.
On being hospitalized after taking pills: I felt like I wasnt being heard, I was trying to tell people I needed help, I felt like nobody was listening. Ive never really talked about this. I ended up taking a bunch of pills and my roommate took me to the emergency room, it wasnt super life threatening bad but the fact that I did take that action, they sent me to a mental overnight hospital to try to get me together, try to get myself together, ended up spending a week there, getting therapy. And afterward, I had to make the decision if I wanted to go home or try to come back and finish out my semester. So I decided to try to finish out my semester, I did, not very well. And thats when I made the decision to go back home, to Tennessee, and thats when I feel like, I was forced to just, hey, you need to get help, and the only way is to go back home to your support system, and that was the last thing I wanted to do is go back home because, I felt like a failure.
The rest is here:
Bianca Belair Comments on Her Struggles With Bulimia and Depression in High School - eWrestlingNews
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