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November 10 2019, 12:01am,The Sunday Times

David Walsh

Shane Sutton, the former head coach at Team Sky and one-time performance director at British Cycling, could not have been much amused by the discussion that took place at the Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) hearing in Manchester two days ago. According to Mary ORourke, the QC representing defendant Dr Richard Freeman in a fit-to-practise case, the reason her client ordered 30 sachets of Testogel (testosterone) in 2011 was to treat Suttons erectile dysfunction.

Forget for a moment that testosterone is not something any reputable physician would prescribe for erectile dysfunction and consider this conversation from Suttons point of view. He wasnt present when people were publicly discussing his sexual capabilities but would later deny that he suffers from erectile dysfunction. As for the testosterone

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Hearing into Team Sky doctor's lies in danger of being sent down blind alleys while the dirty secrets of Dave Brailsford's project stay uncovered -...

American doubles star Abigail Spears has been provisionally suspended by the International Tennis Federation (ITF) after traces of banned substances, including testosterone, were found in her doping probe.

The 38-year-old failed the test while participating in the 2019 US Open, with traces of prasterone (DHEA), testosterone and metabolites being detected in her urine sample.

READ MORE:No love lost: Female tennis players BRAWL on the court over harsh post-match handshake (VIDEO)

Prasterone and testosterone are Non-Specified substances, which are prohibited under category S1 of the 2019 WADA Prohibited List (Anabolic Agents), and therefore are also prohibited under the Programme. Positive tests for Non-Specified Substances carry a mandatory Provisional Suspension, the ITF said in a statement.

On 28 October 2019, Ms. Spears was charged with an Anti-Doping Rule Violation under Article 2.1 of the Programme (presence of a Prohibited Substance in a Players Sample) and was Provisionally Suspended with effect from 7 November 2019.

Spears has taken 21 career doubles titles so far, including the 2017 Australian Open mixed doubles trophy with Juan Sebastin Cabal. She also reached the finals of the 2013 and 2014 US Open mixed doubles with Santiago Gonzalez.

The rest is here:
Traces of testosterone: US womens tennis star provisionally suspended for doping violation - RT

For a society striving for equal opportunity and freedom to act as one pleases, common values have fallen into the pit of unequivocal standards. The general characteristics of male and female behavior are no longer held on the same platform and terms like hyper-masculinity are blacklisted while feminism seems to be on an exponential growth curve.

However, masculinity and femininity are two sides of the same coin. If feminism does not have a tipping point, masculinity cannot have one either.

The female sex has been stifled beneath an overbearing sentiment of male superiority for a large portion of American history but there is such a thing as overcorrection. When the feminism movement started, it was based on equal opportunity.

Candy-apple-red fingernails folded away in firm fists rose as the most admirable Rosie Riveters cheered on the inalienable rights of women. Fast forward and the feminist movement has made well-deserved headway from suffrage, to breaking through female objectification, to equal job opportunities.

Now in 2019, the movement has reached its fourth wave and has grown curious since its original drift; the tides have turned. Men are the ones facing suppression.

Regardless of gender identity notions, it is indisputable how individuals born with XX or XY chromosomes have certain biological trends indicative of their future mannerisms. Glands are secreting hormones like estrogen and testosterone that predispose the body to act a certain kind of way.

Scientific knowledge is not an opinionthis is science. These predispositions are still beneath the veil of voluntary and meditated action, but it is a biological tendencylike many other thingsthe 21st-century advocates tolerance for.

Unless hypocrisy in the philosophical perspective is something suddenly admirable, it does not make sense to cherry-pick how and where logic is applied. If something is out of someones control, like sexual preference, people cannot help certain behaviors.

A study titled Testosterone and Aggressive Behavior in Man found, though at varying levels, testosterone manifested itself through a number of coined hypermasculine characteristics. Physical and verbal aggressiveness, dominance behaviors and competitiveness were included. The study stated, testosterone plays a significant role in the arousal of these behavioral manifestations.

Jonathan Gottschall, English professor at Washington & Jefferson College in Pennsylvania, released a book in 2015 titled The Professor in the Cage: Why Men Fight and Why We Like to Watch.

His last line in the book remarks, if this sounds insane, if it sounds like I am captive to a barbaric version of masculinity, I plead guilty. My only defense is I am not alone. As well soon see, this barbaric masculinity is typical of our species, not just our culture.

Unless society is content to trade a football tackle for a hug or to stop letting women go braless, people are going to have to accept some members of the male sex are biologically built to be more aggressive, sexually inclined and competitive than the female sex.

However, this is not a means to dismiss rape or excessive public violence. Such concepts are universally inappropriate and therefore cannot be used as an argument against hyper-masculinity; they are not exclusive.

However, let men scuffle if they please. Let them be assertive. Current attitudes are too often formatted in a way resembling an unevenly spread peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It is not sensible to apply to one side what is not applied to the other. If there is one thing women have learned from feminist activism, it is how to make a proper sandwich.

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The double standard of feminism - University Star

It is the fantasy of every male to have better sexual arousals and erections every time they go into bed. Unfortunately, not all males are lucky to have the desired arousals, libido and sexual erections. Their ability to perform on bed declines with the progressing age. This is due to aging which reduces the production of testosterone in body. Velofel is the all natural male enhancement formula designed to restore the sexual appetite and performance of males. Velofel increases the production of testosterone in body that regulates the biological functioning and increases the sexual endurance. This is the formula that heightens your arousal levels and sexual drives, while helping you to last longer on bed. The formula also boosts your circulation of blood across body that heightens your arousal levels and also makes your erections harder and longer lasting.

Review About Velofel!

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Doses of Velofel!

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Velofel Read Review, Functioning, Ingredients, Benefits, Doses & Free Trial | Latest world and US news and updates with bytebell.com - Byte Bell

Every one out of ten women in India faces hormonal imbalance. Hormonal changes may affect women any time from birth to death. But the key to recover from all the imbalances is to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Hormonal imbalance in women results in low or high cortisol, lower progesterone levels, high or low estrogen levels, high or low testosterone, under-active thyroid levels, insulin and leptin resistance. Hormonal imbalance like PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) is the most common one, and is also a leading cause of infertility in women as it interferes with ovulation. PCOS is problematic and could pose as a major threat to both mother and baby, as it increases the rates of miscarriage; gestational diabetes; preeclampsia; cesarean section; high birth weight etc.

How to know if you suffer from hormonal imbalance

Further, we need to understand the most common symptoms of hormonal imbalances:

Persistent Weight Gain - A variety of systems in your body such as the endocrine system, your thyroid, or your digestive system may all be playing a role in the imbalance that leads to weight gain.

Fatigue- When one feels exhausted every day, it implies that there might be lack of thyroid hormone, resulting in adrenal fatigue, or another form of hormonal imbalance.

Anxiety, Irritability and Depression- Anxiety, mood swings and depression are some of the basic symptoms that indicate hormonal imbalance.

Insomnia and Poor Sleep Patterns- These happen to women when there is a sharp drop in the hormone progesterone, that occurs just before menstruation.

Hot Flashes & Night Sweats- When the body produces estrogen more, or less than the standard amount, women tend to experience hot flashes, which means having sudden feeling of warmth usually over face and neck. Experiencing cold sweats is also a common symptom, when a person feels sudden chills in the body and sweats abnormally.

Food cravings-This occurs due to adrenal fatigue, insulin resistance, and other hormonal imbalances.

Persistent Acne- Imbalance in the androgen hormone causes deep and cystic acne. Testosterone stimulates excess production of oil on the face, leading to prevalence of persisting acne.

Weak Memory- Stress leads to production of high levels of cortisol, which thus hampers a person's learning ability and weakens memory.

Digestive Problems- Chronic stress may lead to increase in the production of cortisol in adrenal glands. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) also increases due to abnormal serotonin levels in the body.

Headaches & Migraines- Hormonal imbalance around certain times of the menstrual cycle often results in migraines and headaches

Managing hormonal imbalance

-To consider mix of foods low in glycemic index (or GI, meaning they raise blood sugar slowly) which is also referred to as traditional Mediterranean diet.

- To consider foods rich in protein, especially lean protein such as think chicken breasts, eggs, and wild-caught fish; vegetables and most fruit; chia seeds, flaxseeds.

-Consuming nuts such as almonds, walnuts, pistachios, and pumpkin seeds.

-To consider intake of olive oil and some other unsaturated oils and fats, like flax oil, sesame oil, and groundnut oil.

-To eat whole grains like buckwheat, brown rice, ragi and quinoa and other millets.

-To avoid or to minimize caffeine, alcohol, fried foods, processed meat, peanuts, saturated fat, full-fat dairy, artificial sweeteners, and simple carbs or simple sugars like white bread, sweets, pastries, etc.

-Eating often every 2-3 hours, healthy food choices at least 80% of the time.

-Exercise in a must. Going out for roughly 30 minutes for exercise for 6 days a week along with strength training, cardio, interval training, and yoga can help keeping hormonal imbalance under control.

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Tackling The Menace Of Hormonal Imbalance, What Every Woman Should Know - Outlook India

Time once again for Outsports to stop the clock for an instant reply of the week that was. Its my way of memorializing the glorious victories, the ignominious defeats, and the players and personalities who made them, lived them or just couldnt avoid them.

I realize my roster may differ from yours, and I welcome your comments, contributions and critiques. I read them all! Details on how to reach me are below, after our look at the weeks winners and losers.

The Los Angeles Sparks guard tied the knot with her girlfriend Tipesa Moorer on Saturday.

WWL Radio terminated Seth Dunlap despite his insistence he had nothing to do with the anti-gay tweet sent from the stations account.

The newly minted AEW tag team champion rightfully faced ridicule after using homophobic slurs on Twitter back in 2011, an admittedly dark time in his 17-year career. Sky made strides to understand his errors and correct himself on a personal level in the time since his misstep, and he delved into that experience in a recent interview with Chris Van Vliet.

Nationals pitcher Sean Doolittle said he didnt attend the White Houses World Series celebration out of solidarity with his wife and her two moms. Some readers say he missed an opportunity to deliver a message to President Trump in person, others applauded his decision, and others believe his choice was absolutely the wrong thing to do.

The team of Delmi Exo and out wrestler Ashley Vox ended the 370-day reign of SHIMMER legends Mercedes Martinez and Cheerleader Melissa on Saturday.

As Major League Baseball continues to progress in its relationship with the LGBTQ community, our Ken Schultz says the contributions of trailblazers like Glenn Burke should be visible in Cooperstown.

In his memoir, Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon writes about love, falling down, getting up, and, yes, Mike Pence. He talks about it with co-founder Cyd Zeigler on his new weekly podcast, Five Rings To Rule Them All, which highlights the lives of out LGBTQ Olympians ahead of Tokyo.

The first woman to win consecutive Olympic gold medals in the ring steps down due to irreversible eye damage.

The San Francisco 49ers are off to a hot start for the 2019 season, 8-0, the most positive surprise of the season so far. And theyre doing it with an openly gay coach on the staff. Katie Sowers came out publicly in 2017 after she had been hired by the 49ers.

One of Londons loudest voices on the far right took aim at a trans woman named 2019 Kent Women Player of the Year: Another kick in the ovaries for biological females everywhere, Katie Hopkins tweeted. The captain of her cricket team fired back: Personally Im proud to call her my teammate and my friend. So please attempt dont speak for me or my ovaries.

The Union Cycliste Internationale announced it may reset maximum testosterone levels for trans athletes competing in womens sports. But the bottom line, as Dr. Rachel McKinnon made crystal clear on Twitter Thursday: a change in the maximum level of testosterone allowable for a trans woman to compete in womens cycling will have no effect on my eligibility.

The Amsterdam Lowlanders 2020 calendar is not just 12 pictures of naked men, its proof, says the photographer: there is no real ideal image.

The two promotions featured notable LGBTQ talent such as Effy, Cassandro, Jake Atlas, Billy Dixon and Killian McMurphy.

After coming out as bi to his Pomona-Pitzer teammates in California, linebacker Jack Storrs has thrived on and off the field with their love and support.

Thats all for this week! Ill bring you a fresh list of winners and losers next Saturday. Got a name I missed, or want to challenge my choices? Comment here or on Facebook or Instagram, tweet at us, message me via any social media, or just plain email me at outsports@gmail.com Thanks!

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LGBT Sports winners and losers of the week - Outsports

Advancements in medical technologies have brought new challenges to sports regulators, especially the International Federations. One of the newest battlefields is transgender athletes.

Back in February, now-former marathon world-record holder Paula Radcliffe (GBR) sounded the alarm quite clearly, telling the BBC:

Right now, transgender women are not a threat to female sport. But you would be naive if you thought that, by not putting in any rules, it couldnt come to that at some point in the future.

People will manipulate this if there is an opening there to make money and win medals and weve seen the lengths people go to, the lengths Russia went to cheat in sport.

Absolutely, any transgender men or women should be able to access sport; it just depends which category.

The International Olympic Committee adopted rules in 2015 that are now outdated and has not been able to come to a consensus on new regulations as yet. But that has not stopped the International Assn. of Athletics Federations (IAAF, soon to be World Athletics) on its own path.

Moving forward after the Court of Arbitration for Sport upheld its new regulations on women with differences in sex development the Caster Semenya case the IAAF has now taken the lead in the transgender area, and working with other federations.

In a forthright approach to the issue, the IAAF hosted a meeting in Lausanne (SUI) on 19 October that included not only scientific and legal experts, but also the International Paralympic Committee and the International Federations for golf, tennis and rowing.

A report on this International Meeting on Transgender Eligibility in Competitive Sports was issued 12 days later and outlined with clarity a process which could be used for regulating trans-gender athletes who want to compete as female. Highlights:

2. Each sport is different with regard to the physical attributes that distinguish male from female performances and with regard to their policy preferences for classifications. Rules or regulations intended to accommodate trans athletes according to their gender identity should be sports-specific and designed by the relevant international federation. So that the eligibility standards remain consistent with the best available evidence, such rules or regulations should always be considered living documents, to be updated according to the latest scientific knowledge.

3. It is widely recognised that testosterone (T) distributes bimodally among male and female populations. T is also the primary known driver of the performance gap between males and females. Consequently, while acknowledging that testosterone is not the only physical basis for the performance gap, serum T has been found to be an acceptable proxy to distinguish males from females for sports purposes.

4. If a federation decides to use serum T for this purpose, in order to be consistent with the biological rationale for the female category, and based on current data, rules or regulations on trans womens eligibility for that category should adopt a fixed threshold at or below 5 nmol/L. Consistent with the fact that healthy female T levels are typically in the range from 0 to 1.7 nmol/L, it was noted that the typical medical target serum T for trans women who choose such intervention is well below 5 nmol/L.

For those who followed the Semenya case, the reference to 5 nanomoles per liter of blood is familiar: its the same level to which the IAAF now requires women with differences in sex development to meet to compete in events from 400 m to the mile. The transgender proposal would apply to all athletes wishing to compete in the female classification.

The report also noted that as with the Semenya case, there is also a time target to reduce high testosterone levels so as to create a level playing field for transgender athletes to compete as women:

The minimum interval between the achievement of the target serum T and eligibility for competition should be tailored for the purpose of each sport, and possibly also for events within a sport. Considering currently available scientific knowledge, an interval of at least 12 months remains reasonable; more may be appropriate depending on the sport and event.

These concepts werent chosen randomly, or based on simply guessing. In addition to the scientific testing on testosterone, most of this approach was modeled after the successful defense of the IAAFs regulations that were challenged by Semenya. Theres no doubt that a legal challenge will be thrown up against such rules as they are adopted; those regulations which will be upheld by the Court of Arbitration for Sport are those which are as narrowly-drawn as possible to achieve the desired effect of fair competition.

The IAAF issued its own regulations for transgender eligibility, approved by the IAAF Council in Doha (QAT) in October and effective as of 1 October 2019. The 21-page document requires those wishing to compete in the female division (in any event) to maintain serum testosterone levels of 5 nmol/L for a period of a year. The regulations note that typical womens testosterone levels are 0.6-1.68 nmol/L vs. normal male levels of 7.7-29.4 nmol/L.

But even as all this was going on, a new study was announced in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, in which a Swedish research team some of whom have worked with the IAAF tested the impact of a moderate testosterone increase on athletic achievement in young women.

The findings were that a modest, 10 mg treatment of testosterone cream increased serum testosterone by 378% from 0.9 nmol/L to 4.3 nmol/L and an 8.5% increase in running performance was observed. Thats substantial and continues to confirm the crucial role of testosterone in improved athletic performance.

The IAAF is leading the issue and the impact has already spread beyond the federations attending the Lausanne conference. On Monday (4th), the Union Cycliste Internationale (UCI) confirmed that it is pleased by the consensus obtained by the working group and The UCI shares the conclusions reached by the participants, who included representatives of transgender and cisgender athletes. The conclusions notably state that if a Federation decides to use serum testosterone to distinguish between male and female athletes, it should adopt a maximum threshold of 5nmol/L for eligibility for the female category. It plans to issue guidelines which can be adopted for use in 2020.

The UCIs statement is especially important given the current debate inside the cycling community following the second consecutive World Masters Sprint title won by Canadas Rachel McKinnon, a transgender female, in late October.

McKinnon says she is compliant with the IOCs 10 nmol/L regulations, but the firestorm about her status on social media makes it clear that new regulations will be just the start not the end of the debate.

There was a time, not long ago, when the IFs worried mostly about setting up event, publishing competition rules and trying to promote their sports. Now, the IAAF is leading the way even ahead of the IOC in some areas in organizing scientific programs both in research and in anti-doping and integrity enforcements.

There is a lot of criticism in track & field circles of IAAF chief Sebastian Coe and his Monaco-based headquarters team, about the recent World Championships in Doha (QAT) and about the standing of the sport internationally. But in the lab and in turning up the pressure on doping, they deserve credit.

Rich PerelmanEditor

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LANE ONE: IAAF taking the lead in transgender regulation, working with other IFs on testosterone levels - The Sports Examiner

Abstract and Introduction Abstract

In recent years, testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) has received significant media attention, and the rate of testosterone use has increased notably. A reported association between testosterone use and increased occurrence of myocardial infarction and stroke prompted the FDA to issue a safety bulletin in 2014. Clinical hypogonadism is the only FDA-approved indication for TRT in men; it is not approved to treat age-related low testosterone. Although it is not indicated, TRT is often recommended to improve sexual function, bone density, body composition, muscle strength, mood, behavior, and cognition. The literature on the effectiveness of TRT for various conditions is largely mixed; therefore, current data on appropriate and potentially inappropriate use are important for pharmacists to keep abreast of and discuss with patients.

Recently, the use of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) has received a lot of media attention. Although its use is growing, there is much debate regarding TRT's risks and benefits.[1] From 2008 to 2012 in the United States, spending on TRT increased from $1 billion to $2 billion, and from 2003 to 2013 there was a fourfold increase in the rate of TRT in men aged 18 to 45 years.[2] In 2013 and early 2014, two studies reported an association between TRT and increased occurrence of myocardial infarction and stroke, prompting the FDA to issue a safety bulletin on January 31, 2014.[3] This article will discuss appropriate TRT use, available formulations and cost, side effects, trends, and the pharmacist's role in patient education, including counseling points.

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Testosterone Replacement Therapy: Controversy and Trends - Medscape

Back in the 1960s, the second wave of feminism was making big strides in the push towards birth control and female reproductive rights. Finally, women, specifically in married couples, were legally allowed to take birth control when the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved Enovid, the first legal oral contraceptive, according to Our Bodies Ourselves.

Following that, female birth control became widely available not long after its creation.

Since then, birth control and contraceptives have made major improvements. Women are now offered various forms of birth control. Planned Parenthood lists all the options currently available: the implant, IUD, shot, vaginal ring, patch, sponge, diaphragm and obviously the pill.

The whole push around the movement for birth control and reproductive rights revolved around women. Meaning much of the responsibility to not get pregnant falls on women. All men have to worry about is making sure they have a condom and maybe being allergic to latex, but that problem has been solved with the creation of non-latex condomsa man complained and the problem was solved, hmm.

Since men do not have the same kinds of birth control forms, they also do not have to worry about the side effects associated with them.

While on birth control, women face side effects such as tender breast, mental health changes, headaches, cramps, nausea, weight gain and bleeding between periods, to name a few as listed on Planned Parenthoods website.

In addition to side effects, women also have to worry about the costs associated with birth control. Planned Parenthood states on their website that, without insurance, the pill could cost over $600. One of the more expensive options of an IUD could be over $1,100. Thankfully, with my own insurance, mine is $0, but that is not always the case for everyone.

Meanwhile, all men have to worry about is buying a box of condoms. A box of 36 Trojan condoms on Walmarts website was $15.47. It sure is a lot more cost-effective for men.

With all this in mind, why has there not been mass production of male birth control? Is it because of the notion that women should be more responsibleeven though it takes two to tangoor that men are or would be unwilling to take birth control?

Actually, in the 1970s, clinical trials for male birth control began.

Male birth control works slightly different than female birth control. Planned Parenthood describes female birth control as seeking to thicken the mucus on the cervix to stop sperm from joining with an egg by stopping ovulation. Without ovulation, there are no eggs present to join with sperm.

Recent research done by Christina Wang, Mario P. R. Festin and Ronald S. Swerdloff noted that the method [of Hormonal male contraception] is based on the use of exogenous testosterone alone or in combination with a progestin to suppress the endogenous production of testosterone and spermatogenesis.

They also noted the effectiveness of two studies in the 1990s. These two studies used testosterone enanthate, an intramuscular (IM) injectable preparation or a shot.

These two early landmark studies provided strong evidence that when spermatogenesis is suppressed to yield very low sperm output by the administration of exogenous androgens, contraceptive efficacy can be as high as female contraceptive methods, the report said.

Male birth control essentially tries to stop the production of sperm.

Side effects of these and more recent trials can be to blame for why there has not been mass production of male birth control. Both the previous study and one conducted by Giulia Gava and Maria Cristina Meriggiola in 2019 noted that common side effects included pain at site of injection, acne, coughing after injection, and mood or behavior changes.

In addition to side effectsdid they forget that womens birth control has them too, yet we still take it because they outweigh getting pregnantlack of funding for research is in part to blame. Although, this lack of funding falls back onto the un-acceptance of the side effects associated with male birth control.

In 2016, Vice reported that researchers had to stop a study on male birth control despite its 96 percent success rate because too many participants dropped out after experiencing side effects like mood swings and acnemood swings and acne, welcome to a teenagers everyday life.

If we could mass-produce a male form of birth control and men in our society were willing to use it, then we could see a more equal role in family planning between men and women. Because at the end of the day, it takes two to have sex and women should not have to bear the brunt of practicing safe sex.

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We need male birth control and we need it now - UNCW Seahawk

A Labor of Leave

I havent had sex since my last breakup, and Im all lusty. I really like this guy, but he seems to have some intimacy issues. We went on a coffee date, and the chemistry made things go further than I would have wanted or expected (making out like crazy in the car). My friends keep reminding me to build trust and friendship before sex. But can you really go backward? Like, is it possible to just hang out and chat once things have gotten hot and heavy?

Lustbucket

A nice, thick pane of bulletproof glass between two people is an underappreciated chastity helper, which is to say, in a perfect world, youd plan your dates around one of you getting a job in a check-cashing place or getting arrested and held without bail.

Theres a tendency when youve initially gone a little too heavy into the heavy petting to be all: Oh, well cats out of the bag. Lets just go straight to the sex dungeon. However, for women especially, having sex right away can lead to a sort of psychological blinding to their sex partners shortcomings.

Women seem more prone to getting attached when they have sex. This is thought to result from surging oxytocin, a hormone associated with emotional bonding between mothers and children, as well as lovers. Oxytocin is released in both men and women through cuddling, kissing, and especially through orgasm. However, in men, having sex also sets off a big blast of testosterone. Testosterone goes all nightclub bouncer on oxytocin, blocking it from getting to its receptor. So just as a womans going all melt-o about a guy, if the guy has no pre-sex emotional attachment to her, his neurochemistry is prodding him to say something sweet and romantic, like Thanks for the ride! Have a great life!

In other words, the bulletproof-glass suggestion isnt all that outrageous. Its a form of precommitment, a strategy by economist Thomas Schelling that involves preparing in advance to make it difficult for you to break a promise or duck a goal. Incorporating precommitment could mean only scheduling lunch dates in restaurants and only on days when you have a work meeting right afterward. Another idea is getting to know each other over the phone more than in person with the caveat that you only do it in relatively public places, where turning FaceTime into PenisTime is likely to lead to, um, jail time.

Fade to Bleh

Im a very obsessive person. I went on one date with this guy, and it was immediately apparent that hes emotionally unavailable and broken. I deleted his number but soon dug it back up. I texted, but he never responded. I know hes bad news, but I still think about him constantly. Its especially bad when Im trying to go to sleep. How do I stop these intrusive thoughts?

Besieged

Its like that spinning teacup ride, with Satan as the carny: Wanna get off? Too bad!

Youre doing your best to avoid thinking about the guy. Unfortunately, theres a problem with that. Research by psychologist Daniel Wegner on the paradoxical effects of thought suppression suggests our minds have something in common with a defiant two-year-old, meaning that telling yourself not to think about something gets your mind doing exactly the opposite: thinking about that thing with a vengeance.

This is just how the mind works. When you tell yourself not to think about something, its an immediate fail. The mind sweeps around to monitor how well youre doing at not thinking about it, which of course involves thinking about whatever youre not supposed be thinking about.

Helpfully, Wegner and his colleagues found a possible way to stem the flood of intrusive thoughts: distraction. This requires thinking of something positive and unrelated to the thoughts youre trying to suppress. Even a red Volkswagen the example they used in their experiment could do the job.

Whats more, psychologists Jens Forster and Nira Liberman found that you can keep your mind from constantly bouncing back to a thought if you shift your focus: admit that not thinking about it is hard. As I explain in my book Unf---ology, Removing the need to patrol your thoughts removes the mental sticky note that tells you to keep going back into Thoughtland with a flashlight to see how well youre doing at it.

Finally, because the mind cannot multitask, meaning think two thoughts at once, it might be helpful at bedtime to tire yourself out reading aloud or following a guided meditation on your phone: Youre walking down a beach youre looking out into the waves and um oops! Just remind yourself that not thinking about something is hard and yank your mind back to Swami Doodah after you inevitably picture yourself holding the guy down and drowning him in the ocean.

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon: 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA, 90405. E-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com, visit @amyalkon on Twitter, and listen to Amy's weekly podcast at BlogTalkRadio.com/amyalkon.

Order Amy Alkon's book Unf---ology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts & Confidence (St. Martin's Griffin, 2018).

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The Science Advice Goddess: November 7, 2019 - River Cities Reader

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