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Linda Webster From Friday's Globe and Mail Published Thursday, May. 10, 2012 12:59PM EDT

We had just delivered our 26-year-old epileptic son to Pearson Airport for his first solo flight to Asia, to travel Japan for four weeks on his own.

I know, he's a big boy now. But my emotions were so scrambled all I wanted to do was go home and start drinking.

We settled for lunch out and a glass of wine, reassured by his text from the plane that he was safely onboard and about to fly off into the sunrise.

The drive to the airport had been mercifully swift, but coloured with nostalgia as the radio suddenly broke forth with Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle. There was the predictable tension as we scoured the car park for a spot and then had to half-run to the check-in. We absorbed the clerk's scolding about not arriving two hours in advance of Geoffs flight, then fairly sprinted to the security line.

Maybe the rush was a good thing. I was exhilarated for him but Id had to restrain myself from clutching his legs as he disappeared through the security door. I smiled manically as his father yelled, You have to take your laptop out of your knapsack!

Yeah, I know, he yelled back, cringing.

Wed known this trip was coming for years. Maybe it was because of a previous existence, or the fact his personal history paralleled the evolution of Nintendo, but something called to him from Tokyo. Still, at the airport outside security, I felt like I was leading a lamb to the slaughter, and as I finally turned away, a great lump lodged in my throat and the tears started to flow.

Before you have kids, you don't realize how much you have to lose. Before you learn to love someone more than life itself, you can't imagine the depth of caring that will relentlessly affect you for the rest of your life.

All that was left for me to nurture was Jake, Geoff's metre-long corn snake, who relished a full-grown mouse for dinner every five days. Solace comes in many forms, and Jake was better than nothing.

Originally posted here:
The distance between us

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