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Mar 16

Holt: Roller coaster of long-term weight loss

Recently I told a friend I feel weird telling people Ive lost 100 pounds because Im still a big girl.

I worry theyll size me up and think, Whoa, whatd she look like before?!

(Im quick to add that I want to lose at least 50 more.)

My friend texted back: Stop taking away from your accomplishments. Just be happy that its 100 pounds youve left behind.

I may have shed the pounds, but the psychological damage remains.

Ive always been hard on myself, and, to an extent, its helped me succeed.

But my inner critic snipes, Well, if youd been even harder on yourself, you wouldnt have let your weight spiral out of control.

I go back and forth almost every day between feeling proud and ashamed.

During a pedicure a year ago, I noticed my cankles had once again become ankles. Welcome back, ladies!

My lower legs may be stronger, tighter and more defined, but my thighs are covered in cellulite, stretch marks and loose skin. (Oh yeah, theres physical damage, too).

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Holt: Roller coaster of long-term weight loss

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