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Jan 9

Openly acknowledging my poor eating and fitness habits was empowering – The Irish Times

Long Term Weight Loss Comments Off on Openly acknowledging my poor eating and fitness habits was empowering – The Irish Times

I didnt need any weighing scales to tell me Id gained weight, my belt and clothes had dutifully informed me of that, but I still winced when faced with the truth that Id gained 1st (6kg).

For a moment I wondered would giving the scales a quick kick while telling it how evil it is make me feel better? No, shooting the messenger would not help. It was just another measurement instrument and, like the measuring tape I had flung on the floor minutes earlier, was not conspiring to tell me lies.

Clearly, the fault of this weight gain lay with my injured right foot the destroyer of all my goals, plans and progress Id made. I scowled down at my foot, still bandaged and looking back at me smugly after two months of demanding my attention every day. But I knew where the fault truly lay. I apologetically picked up the tape, nudged the scales gently back under the press and let out a long, exasperated sigh while collapsing on to the couch knowing the real cause of the weight gain was down to me, my own mindset and resulting actions. Life is unpredictable and Id reacted with silly self-pity and frustration when derailed from my plans with an injury.

I was annoyed with what I had done, but looking back now Im glad it happened as it was a lesson I needed to learn from. I needed to take time to figure out new strategies to cope with setbacks in life as that will matter most long term for my future health and well-being.

A few weeks ago the injury signals started to appear to remind me to prioritise looking after my health again, and Id mostly ignored them being wrapped up in peak self-pity mode. Ive significantly changed my relationship with my body, mind and food over the last two years and lost more than 3st 7lb (22kg).

I have spent the time since ingraining healthier habits into my daily routine so they became automatic. Over months, step by step, I introduced healthier behaviours to replace my many bad habits, which included skipping meals, binge-eating, treating exercise as punishment for eating to excess and restrictive fad diets. Progress was gradual but the results were long lasting and, surprisingly, it all became more enjoyable as the weeks passed.

The old me would have avoided the reality of my current weight gain for many more months, and not spoken about it, while letting thoughts of guilt, shame and anger lurking around my mind fester and silently torment me. It has taken time but realising that although Im confident and happy in most areas of my life, openly acknowledging my self-destructive eating and fitness habits was empowering.

In terms of problems people have, especially ones that are out of their control, its minute, and I was too embarrassed to admit it bothered me for some time and worried I would be judged. But it did bother me. It bothered me I felt disconnected from my own body and Id started to notice small health implications, and then started to fear future ones as my unhealthy habits continued to grow. I also missed feeling energetic and physically strong. But when I eventually did admit it, I immediately felt lighter, both physically and mentally, and thoughts of weight loss and fitness failures started to fade. I could see with some patience I could change what I then considered weaknesses into strengths.

Not everyone has that choice and I was grateful that I did as through the years Ive seen there are a myriad of complex reasons people gain or lose weight from illness and medications to genetics, and many others in between.

Tracking my habits helped me see what small changes I could make and it was a relief to feel in control again. Unhealthy habits had embedded their way into my life so I thought why couldnt healthy behaviours do the same? It has been a slow process but it has worked although weight loss has not gone on a smooth line there have been numerous ups and downs along the way.

Over the last year, Ive recognised different behaviours I needed to tackle and improve such as self-sabotage when Im almost at the finishing line of achieving a goal, relapsing into striving for perfection and being committed to an all or nothing approach when all it does is slow down my progress, and generally lacking patience in seeing results. But Ive also learned that if I keep going, try implement different experts advice to see what works for me and be more compassionate to myself that Ill get there.

My plan for losing my first 3st (19kg) was step by step through keeping a journal from time to time, reducing my binge-eating, eating meals more often, replacing junk food with healthier versions and taking at least 30 minutes every day to move my body in some form of exercise. Exercise and moving my body more had played a large part in continuing to do all those things, and developing a healthier mindset, relieving stress, getting outdoors and generally feeling better. It had mattered more than Id realised. I didnt do a large amount of exercise, but I dearly missed it when I couldnt do it.

My latest setback was a necessary one for me to develop new habits to avoid weight gain happening in the future and be more resilient. I got an injury, a random injury that was simply part of life, but Id decided to become focused on my frustration at not being able to progress with my goals that Id almost reached. My common sense took a holiday, I ate larger meals than I did when I could exercise and began to mindlessly eat higher-calorie sugary snacks. My sleep quality and quantity lessened, and a vicious cycle of sugary snacks and feeling tired began to take hold. I started to forget what it was like to feel healthy and energetic. I know from experts advice that nutrition counts for 70 to 80 per cent weight loss, so there was no need for me to gain weight.

Logically, I couldve reduced the amount of food I normally ate slightly, and I would have maintained my weight. I couldve used my spare time to have a look at my nutrition there was plenty I needed to work on from tackling my resistance to cooking, what nutrients Im not eating enough of and what types of foods I should be eating more of to stop my energy dropping in the evening. I didnt like the forced change to my routine and I reacted badly. Its a trigger I know Ill deal much better with next time.

Its been two weeks since I stepped on the scales and decided to cut back on the sugary snacks, reduce portion sizes of my meals and try different types of exercise. Already my sleep has improved and my belt is looser. Ive a new appreciation for my healing foot (and Ive stopped scowling at it). Returning to workouts was daunting after a break but not as bad as Id imagined.

Getting back on track isnt always easy but its worth it, and Im once again enjoying finding my way to my natural weight and seeing what new limits I can push my body to reach.

Rachel Flahertys column is about getting fitter and healthier. Contact Rachel on Twitter@rachelfl,Instagramor emailrflaherty@irishtimes.com

Sign up for one of The Irish Times'Get Runningprogrammes (it is free!).First, pick the eight-week programme that suits you.- Beginner Course:Acourse totake you from inactivity to running for 30 minutes.- Stay On Track:For those who can squeeze in a run a few times a week.- 10km Course:Designed for those who want to move up to the 10km mark.Best of luck!

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Openly acknowledging my poor eating and fitness habits was empowering - The Irish Times

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