Search Weight Loss Topics:

Home » Long Term Weight Loss » Scott Marcus: Happy long-term relationships – Red Bluff Daily News

When my first marriage hit the rocks a quarter century ago, my now ex-wife and I started seeing a marriage counselor. He began, Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Of those that dont, 90 percent end in boredom. Do the math. If youre in a long-term happy, supportive, loving relationship, youre in a very fortunate five percent.

August 27 is my 17th anniversary. I think one indicator that we were meant to be is that, ironically, its also my wifes 17th anniversary. (Rim shot please) The really cool thing is that not only do we still love each other but we still like each other, placing us securely in the five percent.

I realize there are couples that have been together longer than have we. I saw on a Sunday morning news program a story of several siblings who have all been in happy marriages for 40, 50, or even 60 years. God willing and the creek dont rise, Im looking forward to those milestones. Yet our relatively short happy marriage doesnt deplete a few lessons Ive picked up along the way that Id like to share.

First and most importantly, if you want a good long-term relationship, pick the right partner. Do not make the giant mistake of thinking, Its just a small thing, I can change him (or her) after were married. If he or she has annoying habits, either learn to accept them or dont get involved. It might be that he changes for the better years later; consider that an unexpected bonus. Dont plan on it. (By the way, remember you have your own idiosyncrasies too.)

Dont live as a couple until youve been together at least a full year, allowing you the opportunity to see each other through every season with the associated ups and downs along the way. After 12 months, shes let down their guard, allowing you to know the real person. If major barriers still exist, consider it a warning.

Communication is the bedrock of a good relationship. You need to talk when things arent going as you want and complement when they are. Remember that even the best relationships cause some pain. Youre two separate souls; sometimes bumping into each other. Thats okay; talk about it, always keeping respect and love as your touchstones.

When disagreements arise and they will ask yourself, Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy? Most times, youll opt for the latter as most times its not the big stuff anyway. Relatedly, once youve reached resolution, its done. Dont harbor grudges nor bring up old arguments.

This next notion might come off as counter-intuitive. Know that there are three not two entities in every healthy relationship. Theres you. Theres me. Theres us. Each needs its time. Sure, the we needs time or why would you couple? As essentially, each of you needs your own time. Avoid co-dependence as well as too much independence; seek inter-dependence.

Advertisement

When we first considered moving in, we looked for a mother-in-law unit/house combination. In that manner, we could be together as wanted, yet still have our alone time. Friends were skeptical, If youre moving in together, either make the commitment or dont. You cant have it both ways.

Which leads to the next tip: Your relationship is your relationship, based on what the two of you want, not what others say you should do. What they do or dont do is right for them. Dont bend to suit others ideas of what your relationship should look like unless its something you want for yourselves. Otherwise, theyre running your life, giving them two sets of lives and you have none and thats not fair.

Finally, find reasons to say I love you as often as possible. It cannot be said too often. Mean it when you say it.

Scott Q Marcus is a nationally known weight loss expert for baby boomers and the CRP Chief Recovering Perfectionist of http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com. His new book, co-written with his sister, The Busy Baby Boomers Motivational Guide to Weight Loss is at http://www.BabyBoomersGuides.com.

Original post:
Scott Marcus: Happy long-term relationships - Red Bluff Daily News

Your Full Name
Your Email
Your Phone Number
Select your age (30+ only)	30313233343536373839404142434445464748495051525354555657585960616263646566676869707172737475767778798081828384858687888990919293949596979899100101102103104105106107108109110111112113114115116117118119120
Select Your US State	Select Your StateAlabamaAlaskaArizonaArkansasCaliforniaColoradoConnecticutDelawareFloridaGeorgiaHawaiiIdahoIllinoisIndianaIowaKansasKentuckyLouisianaMaineMarylandMassachusettsMichiganMinnesotaMississippiMissouriMontanaNebraskaNevadaNew HampshireNew JerseyNew MexicoNew YorkNorth CarolinaNorth DakotaOhioOklahomaOregonPennsylvaniaRhode IslandSouth CarolinaSouth DakotaTennesseeTexasUtahVermontVirginiaWashingtonWashington,DCWest VirginiaWisconsinWyoming
Program Choice	Select Your ProgramInjectable HGHInjectable TestoteroneInjectable SermorelinInjectable Weight LossInjectable HCG DietInjectable Vitamins
Confirm over 30 years old	Yes
Confirm that you resident in USA	Yes
This is a Serious Inquiry	Yes
Message:

Home » Long Term Weight Loss » Scott Marcus: Happy long-term relationships – Red Bluff Daily News