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Dec 28

Why 2020 should be ‘year of the mirror’ | Quint Studer – Pensacola News Journal

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Every time a new year rolls around, we start thinking about self-improvement. Most people tend to think about losing weight, or working out, or improving their finances, or spending more time with family. And if we own or lead a company, we also might have business resolutions, like breaking into a new market, or winning new customers, or raising employee engagement scores.

Theres nothing wrong with any of these goals. Theyre all positive and worth pursuing. But lately Ive been thinking about the power of a resolution that happens more internally: getting intentional about holding up the mirror.

Over the years I have written and spoken a lot about holding up the mirror. What I mean by this is becoming self-aware and doing the inner work it takes to be a better leader and better person.

Life is constantly changing. So are healthy companies. Being able to innovate and quickly execute have never been more important than they are in a fast-paced global economy. Leaders are in the business of helping others move past the issues that block the execution of good ideas. Its a huge part of our job to keep change on track and moving forward. But we cant take anyone further than we can take ourselves.

In other words, theres a good reason why Strive to Be Self-Aware and Coachable is the first chapter in The Busy Leaders Handbook! In this chapter I discuss how a venture capitalist (Harry Gruner of JMI) shared that what he first looks at when deciding whether to invest in a company is the self-awareness and coachability of the founder. Its that important.

Most people understand the concept of self-awareness. Its not new. But most struggle with it, and I am a member of that group. In fact, I spent many years pointing fingers, blaming others, and feeling like a victim of circumstances. It was only after experiencing a moment of clarity and seeing myself as I really wasthis was about 37 years agothat my life started changing for the better. I began seeking out honest feedback and listening to it. This made all the difference.

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What keeps people from holding up the mirror? Maybe its fear of what we might discover about ourselves. Maybe were focused on the need to be right rather than the best outcome.

Maybe denial and rationalization are our go-to responses. We automatically think things like, My company got bad satisfaction scores because only unhappy people fill out the survey. Or,They have more staff than we do. Or,I was passed over due to favoritism.

Maybe were stuck in a win-lose mindset rather than a win-win: We believe that we are losing because someone else is winning. When we hold this belief, we focus more on tearing others down than on bringing ourselves up.

Maybe were addicted to blame. We blame our parents, the government, the boss who is holding us back. The list can be endless!

There are plenty of barriers that keep us from holding up the mirror. But while it may be painful to see the truth about ourselves, its always worth doing. It frees us up to move forward. Life opens up for us in surprising ways.

Now, what does it really look like to hold up the mirror? Here are a few of the tactics I have found to be helpful. With a new year right around the corner, I urge you to try out some of them.

Get your ego out of the way. Great leaders bring out the best in others. This cannot happen when youre too attached to your own ideas or convinced youre the smartest person in the room. Pay attention to when youre shining the spotlight on yourself and redirect to others. Focus on constant improvement and growth. Remind yourself often of all that you dont knowthis will help you deflate your own ego and move toward humility, which is one of the most crucial qualities a leader can possess.

Dont assume you know.Consistently take inventory. This is a good business practice. Waffle House does a time and motion study twice every 90 days. There are lots of measurement tools out there we can use inside our companies. But we can also take inventory of our behavior patterns and our emotional and mental well-being. If you need professional help, dont hesitate to seek it out. It can be very tough to see your own barriers to progress. Thats what experts are for.

Begin to regularly ask for feedback (and really listen). Talk to your boss, to other leaders, to employees, to friends and family members. Ask what they see as your strengths and weaknesses. How do they think you performed on a recent project? What might you have done better? When you receive negative feedback, listen without reacting. Dont lash out. Process what you hear and sit with it a while before deciding whether its valid. Often, youll have to admit it is. Its hard to hear negative truths about ourselves but, with practice, we can become more open to it.

In every scenario ask yourself, What could I do to help fix this problem right now? Dont get overly involved in what others did or look for someone to blame. This is where we often focus when things go wrong. Instead, keep a laser focus on solutions. Not only will this improve your self-awareness, it will make you popular with your boss, clients, and coworkers.

Talk it out with trusted mentors.Bert Thornton, retired president of Waffle House, wrote a book calledFind an Old Gorilla. Old or young, find someone you can share your insides with. Many times the clarity and answers come just from the sharing. I recently met with someone who was struggling with a list of things that were bothering him. He shared eight of these items with me. It turned out seven of those were ones he had no control over. When I pointed this out, it was as if a rock had been lifted from him.

Shift the way you look at your obstacles. They may also be your opportunities or strengths.Years ago, I taught high school. Back then the word hyperactive was in vogue. It was typically used to describe students who werent doing well in school. They were usually very energetic. What I noticed was many of the so-called star students had the same characteristics as the ones labeled hyperactive. The difference is how the characteristic is aligned.

I am hearing impaired. While this causes challenges, it also has helped me to be a good listener. It forces me to focus when in a conversation or a presentation. I also have a speech impediment. I went through intense speech therapy. This helped me acquire resilience and also handle failure.

Every day find something to be grateful for.A full heart of gratitude leaves little room for anything else. Yes, at times life is hard. However, those people who make a gratitude list on a regular basis seem to handle lifes ups and downs better than those who do not.

Realize that you can accept a situation without liking it. Thirteen years ago, there was a situation with one of my children that was very painful. I kept trying to handle it perfectly, to be a combination of Gandhi and Mother Teresa. Yet I was still in pain. One day as I was describing what was taking place to a group of people, someone I did not know overheard me. He came up to me and said, Accepting does not mean liking. This changed me profoundly. We can be discouraged about where we are at work or in life. However, until we accept the situation as it is, we will not be able to take the right steps forward.

If these tips resonate, you may be interested in this presentation I gave at EntreCon last month titled The Leader in You. I hope you will hear a tidbit or two that helps you on your journey.

When you make 2020 the year of the mirror, it may cause profound changes in your life. That does not mean things will become great for you immediately. In fact, life can become chaotic for a while as old patterns get shaken up. Thats okay. Its all part of the process.

Holding up the mirror isnt something you do for a year and then youre fixed. It is something you do every day for the rest of your life.None of us will ever be perfect but we can identify the worst flaws that hold us back and sincerely work to repair them. In fact, we have a human responsibility to do so.

As 2019 draws to a close, Id like to leave you (and myself) with this reminder: There is no finish line in learning. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Remaining teachable is the key.

Quint Studer is the founder of the Studer Community Institute and a successful business leader, speaker and author. He is also the entrepreneur in residence at the University of West Florida.Hisnew book,"The Busy Leader's Handbook: How to Lead People and Places That Thrive,"is out now.

Are you facing a small business or workplace challenge? Quint Studer can help. Email your questions to quint@quintstuder.com, and it could be the topic for one of Studers upcoming PNJ columns.

Read or Share this story: https://www.pnj.com/story/news/2019/12/28/why-2020-should-year-mirror-quint-studer/2748981001/

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Why 2020 should be 'year of the mirror' | Quint Studer - Pensacola News Journal

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