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Dec 24

My husband wept as he opened presents on Christmas morning because he knew it was his last one – The Sun

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MONIKA Bhudia watched her husband Mitul opening his Christmas presents, tears spilling from his eyes, as she choked back her own.

The devoted dad was losing his fight with incurable lung cancer and they both knew this was the last Christmas he would spend with his wife and two young daughters, Amiya, now 10 and Vianna, six.

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Just three months earlier the couple from Harrow, who met when they were 17 and married in 2007, had been blissfully happy.

Life was amazing, we couldnt really ask for more- our family was all that mattered," Monika tells the Sun Online.

"Mits loved cars, holidays and food, he was passionate about his job as a heating engineer and had recently been promoted to team manager.

But in September 2018, their world fell apart when Mitul was diagnosed with lung cancer and, by December, they knew he had less than a year to live.

Sadly, the devoted dad-of-two passed away in January and, last month, Monika, 38, went back to Northwick Park Hospital in London to thank the Macmillan cancer nurse who helped them through their darkest days.

If Macmillan hadnt been there for Mits, I think he wouldve worried a lot more and been a lot more scared, says Monika. They gave him advice and answers to his questions. If he was unsure, there was someone to ask.

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In August last year Mitul, who had smoked since he was a teenager, developed a persistent cough.

He initially put it down to a smokers coughand was prescribed antibiotics.

But a month later he began to lose weight and developed night sweats, which doctors suspected were symptoms of the bacterial infection Tuberculosis. He also had a golf ball sized lump in his neck.

After a biopsy on the lump and blood tests, Mitul was given an appointment with a consultant at Northwick Park Hospital and opted to go alone.

He told Monika It's going to be fine. Theyre going to tell me its TB and give me some medication and then I'll meet you for lunch.

But at 2pm, he called with devastating news.

He asked me to come to the hospital straight away and said he had lung cancer. My world fell apart.

I just broke down. I was in shock and there were so many emotions going through my head. I was thinking, Why us? What does it mean for my daughters? How are we going to cope?"

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Lung cancer is the third most common cancer in the UK, and around 46,400 people are diagnosed with it each year. About 1 in 10 people who get lung cancer (10 per cent) have never smoked, and more than 4 in 10 people (44 per cent) who are diagnosed are aged 75 and over.

Initially, Mitul was reluctant to reveal the diagnosis, telling only immediate family.

My first reaction was what and how are we going to tell our children, says Monika. Cancer silenced us. I felt broken at the thought of losing my husband, father of my children my soulmate. You want to protect those you love.

The couple decided to be as honest as they could with the girls, then nine and five.

We sat them down and told them that Daddy has cancer, but Im not sure they completely understood, says Monika.

It was really hard. Both our girls needed their daddy.

Mitul began chemotherapy treatment in October but at the beginning of December he began to develop breathing problems, and was admitted to A&E.

After further tests, doctors discovered the cancer had spread to his right lung, lymph nodes, neck, windpipe and bones.

Monika says: Mits was distraught. Although he asked not to know his life expectancy, the clear implication was that he would be dead within a year.

The Macmillan nurses suggested Mitul wrote letters to his loved ones, especially the girls, but he assured Monika there was no need.

He was a man of very few words and he just got on with it. He had a very positive outlook," she says.

"Even through the treatment he insisted he would get through it, everything was going to be OK but I wish he had written those letters.

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That Christmas, the couple tried to make it as special as possible, for the sake of the girls.

We had prepared ourselves mentally that this was going to be our last Christmas together as a family, she says.

By now, the girls knew that Daddy was very ill and that we needed to look after him and make every occasion special for him.

Normally, we go crazy with friends and family and we pack so much in - but last Christmas it was just the four of us for Christmas lunch, which he enjoyed.

We opened all our gifts together in the morning, as we usually would do. But this time he was in tears, knowing he may not be here to open presents next Christmas.

Nobody wants to see their husband cry so that was hard, but I knew I had to be strong for him and stop myself from breaking down.

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In the new year, Mituls health deteriorated further, and he was admitted to another hospital and underwent a course of radiotherapy.

On January 29, he was discharged but the following day, as Monika prepared breakfast for the children and got them ready for school, she heard her husband shout from the bedroom.

The metal stents the doctors had inserted to keep his airways open collapsed, and Mitul died almost instantly, with his family by his side.

It happened very quickly, in about five minutes. Both the girls were crying and I had to ask them to step aside and let the paramedics do what they needed to do. But they couldnt save him.

Devastated at losing her soulmate, Monika has vowed to keep his memory alive in the girls minds.

We talk about him all the time and this summer we scattered his ashes off the Seychelles, because he loved the Indian Ocean, she says.

That gave us some closure. But I think about him every day. Last week I was just making breakfast for the girls and I broke down. Any little memory can trigger me.

Special occasions like Christmas, birthdays and Diwali are especially hard because you see others celebrating with loved ones.

When there's somebody missing in the household it's hard to carry on as usual. This Christmas will be very lonely.

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Since his tragic death, Monika and Mituls close family and friends have raised a staggering 30,000 in Mituls memory for Macmillan Cancer Support, with a team of over 30 taking part in fundraisers including Run Regents Park and did their own London to Brighton bike ride in October.

Monika adds: Cancer makes you realise whats really important. I just try to be positive and enjoy every day I continue for my girls and the promises that Ive made to Mits - I take nothing for granted.

Without Macmillan, I think the world would be a very scary place. Its quite hard to imagine what it would have been like without them, which is why I decided I wanted to give back.

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I just wanted to raise money to thank them for everything they do to support people affected by cancer. You never know when you might need their help yourself, and I encourage people to do the same through events like Worlds Biggest Coffee Morning the money raised really does make all the difference.

Cancer doesnt stop at Christmas and neither does Macmillan Cancer Support. Without your donations we simply cannot support the growing number of people who need us no matter what time of year it is. Donate today to help us this Christmas: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/donate

Mituls tribute fundraising page can be found here: https://macmillan.tributefunds.com/mitul-bhudia

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My husband wept as he opened presents on Christmas morning because he knew it was his last one - The Sun

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