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Mar 9

Ask Emily: – THE MERCURY – The UTD Mercury

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Mental health advice from one student to another

If you and your friend both struggle with mental healthissues, how do you balance being there for each other while also taking care ofyourself? Lovingly Here

Lovingly, boundaries can be hard to set, especially withsomeone you care about. However, they are imperative to a healthy relationship.When two friends struggle with mental illness, they can either build up or teardown each other. On the one hand, knowing that the other person has been whereyou are and experienced similar feelings can breed feelings of connection andunderstanding. In other cases, though, sharing a struggle can lead to spiralingand competition and shame. Keeping a friendship healthy takes work, whetherthere are common struggles or not. Even acknowledging that it could be hard tokeep the balance between support for the other and yourself is a good step.

Another aspect is knowing your own limits. If you are bothhaving a hard day, leaning on each other could lead to a downward spiral ofshame and shoulds. It is important to not be each others only supportperson, but rather have a whole network of friends or family to lean on. If youfind that they are your only support person, ask yourself who else in your lifeyou can begin cultivating deeper relationships with. Dont be scared to takeother relationships to a deeper level by sharing struggles with them. Gettingthe help you need, whether that be seeing a therapist at the Student CounselingCenter or dropping by at the Center of Students in Recovery for a weekly group,is also necessary. In addition to this, it may be helpful to sit down and talkabout what you are each comfortable with. This must always be an ongoingconversation as both people learn and grow through their own recovery.

Where can I open up to people about my deeper stress andissues, when I havent developed deep enough relationships for suchvulnerability? Jade

Its great that youre wanting to form those deeperconnections and seek more intimate relationships. In an ideal world, we wouldbe able to have a strong support system at the snap of a finger. However, thereality is that opening up to friends and family can get messy and chaotic. Iknow I feel more comfortable opening up to someone when they have beenvulnerable to me. I try to remember this when sharing issues with others thatmaybe by telling them my struggles they are more likely to ask me for help whenthey need it. Its scary to start taking steps towards deeper relationships. Itcan feel like uncharted territory. However, with time and intention it does geteasier.

UTD also has great on-campus resources for those who arestruggling, regardless of whether its stress from school or diagnosabledepression or anxiety. The Center for Students in Recovery is a safe spacewhere students can participate in peer-led support groups, study time andrecovery planning.

The CSRs student workers are often just hanging out andstudying in the main lounge, and this is a great place to go to begin formingrelationships and get things off your chest.

In addition to the CSR, the Student Counseling Centerprovides students with crisis counseling and recurring therapy sessions.However, if this seems intimidating, the SCC opened up a location in ResidenceHall North where you can get free 15 minute drop-in sessions. Although theseare ways to connect and be vulnerable in more professional settings, they canhelp pave the way to deeper relationships with friends as you learn that peoplecan be trusted and your feelings are allowed to take up space.

How do I overcome overeating? Hani Ramsey

Hani, overeating has many meanings to different people,however it is commonly known as eating more food than what your body needs tobe satiated. It often stems from either a physiological or mental restrictionof food. Nutrition therapist Elyse Resch and dietician Evelyn Tribole wrote thebook Intuitive Eating, which is a guide to moving towards a healthyrelationship with food. It emphasizes both listening to your bodys physicaland mental hunger cues, as well as taking into account gentle nutrition andsocial situations. It plays off the idea that sometimes youll just eat acookie because a friend made it, but then find yourself turning down ice creamlater because it just doesnt sound good.This methodology centers around the idea that our bodies know what weneed. In the framework of Intuitive Eating, overeating is often seen as apart of the diet/restrict and overeat/binge cycle. What happens is someonestarts out with the goal to lose weight and thus goes on a diet, eitherrestricting different food groups or caloric intake as a whole. Thisrestriction signals the body to go into starvation mode, where metabolism slowsand the mind becomes fixated on food (for more on starvation, look up theMinnesota Starvation Study). This then leads to an episode of overeating, orbinge eating, which is followed by shame, guilt and self-deprecation. Then thecycle starts all over again.

In saying all of this, I hope you can have some grace foryourself. Tuning into and trying to listen to your body can be empowering. Inaddition to Intuitive Eating, the Student Wellness Center is a great resourcefor learning about how to promote your health through food. It even has aregistered dietitian. It is located in the Student Services Building 4.5, andoften holds events where students can learn how to take care of their bodiesand foster a positive relationship with food. Ultimately, remember that how you(or anyone else) eats is not indicative of your worth or value.

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Ask Emily: - THE MERCURY - The UTD Mercury

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