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Feb 24

Ray Kisonas: Tatts are great as long as they wash off – Monroe Evening News

Testosterone Comments Off on Ray Kisonas: Tatts are great as long as they wash off – Monroe Evening News

"I can be just as groovy as the next cat. But tattoos were never an option for me," Ray says in his latest column.

Face tatts are all the rage. And that's very confusing.

Look, Im no prude. I can be just as groovy as the next cat. But tattoos were never an option for me.

And a tattoo on my face makes no sense unless its of Brad Pitt. Still, Id rather be fitted with a nose bone.

I do not have a tattoo anywhere on my body, not even the words wide load. Its not like Im against them; I just dont feel the need to have some person use a needle to permanently and painfully color my skin.

Even so, Ive often wondered if I ever was in the mood to get one, what would it be and where would I get it? Theres Mom, but shes gone so she couldnt appreciate it. Besides, if I got it done while she was still here, shed get mad at me for wasting my money.

A lot of guys are nostalgic about their first car. But I didnt own a 67 Goat. So I cant see me getting a tatt of a Buick LeSabre. Talk about being a stone nerd.

And I certainly wouldnt get a Chinese symbol or barbed wire around my bicep, like some workout bro.

I suppose someone gets a tattoo to symbolize something that person enjoys or believes in. I enjoy my dog, but a tattoo of a beagle? I dont think so.

Some people use quaint sayings from poets or philosophers. But Im not that clever. My quotes are usually from people like Homer Simpson or from the movies like Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

People who join the military are famous for getting tatts. And my son was no exception. He joined the Army when he just turned 18 and it was during the War on Terror. Of course, I was worried about other things like roadside bombs or him coming home with a baby.

As the Army bus pulled away, I stood there like a house by the side of the road, crying like a baby.

He never did go overseas but he did get a tattoo, a decision that involved a skull or something else brimming with testosterone and fueled by beer.

I dont have any piercings, either. Not really my style. I suppose I would get one if I was in a rock n roll band or if I was an artist like a sculpture maker. But Im too much of a square for pierced ears. And, really, it sounds painful. Poking holes in my body sounds wrong.

I suppose I could use a clip-on earring, but that would be a little awkward.

My mom used clip-ons but she said she was allergic to gold. Not me. I love gold. Just not in my ear.

So I think Ill go through the rest of life with a tattoo-less body and no additional, man-made holes. But that doesnt mean Im not hip.

I just prefer to express myself in other ways. Like a license plate. One that lets you know Ive got grandchildren and lots of stories about them. Cool, eh?

Ray Kisonas is regional editor for The Monroe News and The Daily Telegram. He can be reached at rayk@monroenews.com.

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Ray Kisonas: Tatts are great as long as they wash off - Monroe Evening News

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